The Secret to a Birth Plan Your Doctor Will Actually Respect

Creating a birth plan isn’t about being rigid or controlling. It’s about being informed, prepared, and clear on what matters to you. As a doula who has supported hundreds of births, I’ve seen firsthand how a thoughtful, respectful birth plan can open communication and help everyone—parents and care providers—be on the same page.

But let’s be honest: Not all doctors or nurses will take the time to read a long, overly detailed plan. Some might even roll their eyes at the word “birth plan.” That’s why how you write it matters. Here's how to make your birth plan simple, powerful, and truly respected.

1. Keep It Short & Sweet

Your birth plan should be

• Just one page long

• Bullet-pointed for quick scanning

• Clear and easy to read at a glance

• make it personal by adding a picture of you and husband

Use bold text or headings to make key points stand out. Medical staff are busy and often juggling multiple things—so a straightforward, focused layout helps your voice be heard.

2. Begin With a Kind Introduction

Start with warmth and collaboration. Something like:

“We’re looking forward to welcoming our baby and appreciate your support in creating a positive birth experience. We trust your care and kindly ask for your support in honouring our preferences where possible.”

This small paragraph can shift the tone from “demanding” to “teamwork”—and that can make all the difference.

3. Focus on What Matters Most

You don’t need to list every small wish. Instead, highlight your top priorities:

• Labour: Movement, freedom, water labor, minimal interventions

• Pain Management: Natural methods first? Open to epidural if needed?

• Monitoring: Intermittent vs. continuous fetal monitoring

• Pushing & Birth: Upright positions? Delayed cord clamping?

• After Baby Arrives: Immediate skin-to-skin, delayed weighing, breastfeeding support

• IN CASE OF C-SECTION: Always plan for an in-case-of-a-c-section scenario so that you are better prepared for any eventualities.

Ask yourself: What would make this birth feel right for me—even if plans need to change?

4. Use Gentle, Flexible Language

Medical professionals may respond better to flexible wording than absolute statements.
Instead of:

🚫 “No epidural under any circumstances.”

🚫 “I want NO epidural under any circumstances.”

Try:
✅ “I hope to avoid an epidural and use natural coping techniques, but I’m open to discussing options if needed.”

✅ “I prefer to use natural coping techniques such as using the birth ball, but I’m open to discussing options if needed.”

This keeps space open for communication—and makes your plan feel less like a checklist and more like a conversation.

5. Share & Discuss It Early

Don’t wait until labour to show your plan! Bring it to one of your final prenatal visits and say:

“Can we go through this together to see what’s possible here?”
Ask your provider what’s realistic in your hospital or birth setting, and be open to hearing their side. You’ll walk away more prepared and respected.

6. Bring Extra Copies

When the big day comes, make sure your plan is in the hands of the people who matter:

• One in your hospital bag

• One for your partner or doula

• One for the nurse when you check in

• a few extras for other nurses (when they change shifts)

It’s easier to honour a birth plan when everyone actually sees it.

7. Stay Open & Empowered

The truth is—birth doesn’t always go to plan. But that doesn’t mean you lose your voice.
A strong birth plan, combined with knowledge and support, helps you feel more in control no matter what path your birth takes.

And remember, you deserve to be heard. Your wishes matter.

Need Help Crafting Your Birth Plan?

In my Birth Preparation Class, I’ll walk you through how to create a powerful, respectful birth plan—and give you tools for pain relief, mindset, and partner support too. Let’s prepare together.